The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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