I'm going to jail i love you
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
