i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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