so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
