i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
