About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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