you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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