I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
