Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just cut my nipple shaving
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
