Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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