He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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