party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
