So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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