you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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