I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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