the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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