you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
