i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
