I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
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I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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