Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
