i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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