Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize