if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize