Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
