do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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