i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
