At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
