Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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