i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
