are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
