Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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