Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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