I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
