she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
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You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
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Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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