I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just high enough for therapy.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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