How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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