I'm eating all of the evidence.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
