I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
