my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize