I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize