perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
