i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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