Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
