were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize