Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
