so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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