Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
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Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
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That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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