I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
