The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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