I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
