I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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