He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
