I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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