Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize