just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
