If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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