so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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