you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
